


To Sleep

by LynxOnSmoothies



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Come for the ouchies, Female Frisk (Undertale), Gen, It's ambiguous, No Romance, Okay maybe romance, Only Platonic feels, Rewrite of old oneshot story, Stay for the hope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynxOnSmoothies/pseuds/LynxOnSmoothies
Summary: Frisk sleeps exactly one time, in the Ruins. Sans can't seem to stay awake during the day, but spends all night sleepless. Papyrus can't sleep at all without a story from his brother. They aren't unconnected.(Rewrite of old oneshot fics of Nightmares in Dreams)
Relationships: Frisk & Papyrus (Undertale), Frisk & Sans (Undertale), Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Sleep is colder than Snow

**Author's Note:**

> As practice, and because the old oneshots are horribly written, I am rewriting the original three oneshots that got my toes wet in the Undertale fandom. Each one was based on images that--I went and looked--are no longer available on the internet. Sad, but I'll include the names at the end just in case.

It was always so quiet on this day. No one would come by, and the snow would filter down softly, muffling the distant sounds of Snowdin. It made it all the harder for him to hold his sockets open.

Sans blinked slowly, resting his skull on his hand, pushing up his cheekbone. A flake of snow made its way past his nasal ridge, his eyelights following the small puff until it blended into the piles surrounding the area. Any other day but this one, he would be manning his ‘dog stand over in Hotland, but today was that ever so special day.

The day everything starts again.

He sighed, tapping his phalanges on the wooden surface of the sentry station. The kid was late today, they hadn’t been late in a long time. He could feel the twinge of hope in his chest—perhaps that meant that this time, finally _this time_ , it was Frisk? It hadn’t been Frisk in so long. His head drooped, sockets fluttering as he fought the cloying desire to sleep.

He was just so tired. All he wanted was for it all to stop, regardless of what ‘run’ the kid ended on. **Don’t say that.** He groaned, tipping back on his stool and crossing his arms. He was right. That was a dark path, one that Sans didn’t know if he could find his way back from if he traveled it. Still…

Sans was willing to admit to himself, in the mild privacy of his mind **Sorry,** that he was afraid. Terrified really. Sleep brought dreams, and Sans couldn’t bear to dream anymore. To dream was to _remember_ all that had been, hadn’t been, had yet to be. And yet, he was so tired. He did everything he could to avoid sleep: he traveled the Underground at night, he shocked himself with a buzzer, he spent hours making up puns to bother his bro with, and when that still wasn’t enough, he drank until he passed out, unable to dream. **It isn’t healthy, but I can’t blame you.** Heh, no, he really couldn’t, could he? He had been worse than Sans was now, and he didn’t have the excuse of being caught in an existential time loop _HELL._ Still, Paps wouldn’t let him drink himself to oblivion anymore, and had taken all his buzzers from him in concern. His bro may be the coolest, but his best intentions were rather problematic for Sans this time.

Sans felt the fear creep along his spine, his eyelids dropping down once again against his wishes. He was running out of things to occupy himself with quickly, and he could feel the fingers of sleep start to pull at his mind. **Stay awake, Sans. You don’t want to see it again.** No, he really didn’t, but what could he do? He titled his head into his palm, eyelights flickering in his exhaustion. Maybe he could go and joke with Toriel, from the other side of the Ruins door. But that would involve finding out exactly who would be coming through that door. What if Toriel didn’t respond…again. **Sans, you need to stay awake!**

Sans scrubbed his hands down his face vigorously, snarling. He knows! He knows he needs to stay awake, stars take it all! He buried his face in his arms, feeling tears prick his sockets in frustration. He knows, but how? Give him that answer; how does he stay awake? He cast his mind around. Perhaps… a trip to Grillby’s would…help…

 **No, Sans, no—** but it was too late. Sans’s eye sockets closed, his eyelights finally winking out. And he began to remember.

_This wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Why_

_Why_

_Why was this happening?_

_“I KNOW YOU CAN CHANGE, HUMAN.” Papyrus’s skull lay in the snow, eyelights looking up at the human before him. Dust began to mix into the snow whipping around them, his body dusting. Frisk_ **Not Frisk, remember that Sans!** _stood above his skull, red eyes glinting in the flurries of snow, teeth blending into the blurry white haze. No, wait. Frisk didn’t have red eyes_ **That’s right, Sans. Hold on, I’m trying to get you up.** _That wasn’t Frisk. It was rarely Frisk anymore._

**Sans, you need to work with me. I can’t wake you up if you don’t work with me!** _Not-Frisk raised the knife in her hand, a terrible grin growing on her face. The bloody red light of her soul, floating just beyond her chest, lit up the length of the dusty blade. Dust of monsters Sans could remember—Frogits, Whimsums, Toriel…Papyrus._ **No no no don’t think about it Sans! Stars Damnit, you need to step back and think!** _Sans tried to move, to stop Not-Frisk, but it was as if he was weighted by his own gravity magic. He was paralyzed with the knowledge that he couldn’t stop it, that it was too late._

_That even if he did interfere, Not-Frisk would just do it again. And again. And again. And again. And—_ **Not down that way, Sans.** _Sans could only scream as Not-Frisk brought the knife down through the top of Papyrus’s skull, the knife making a dull thunk into the bone. Not-Frisk giggled in Frisk’s voice, twisting the blade to shatter the top of his skull and turning it to dust. She flipped the blade and laughed again, walking off into the snow._

_All that was left of Papyrus was the red scarf Sans had given him, slowly being buried underneath the onslaught of snow. Sans fell to his knees, clutching his eye sockets, yanking until he could feel the bone crack._ **I don’t enjoy this any more than you do, so if you would please WORK WITH ME SANS!** _He was hyperventilating, somehow unable to get the air he needed despite his lack of lungs. His ribs ached, his soul breaking._

_“papyrus!” Sans screamed, his voice cracked and swept away by the raging storm. Not again_

_please_

_stop_

_his little brother_

_He can’t lose him._

**Sans, focus on me. You need to wake up.**

_Tears streamed from his empty sockets as Not-Frisk’s laughter echoed around the area again. Sans had known this would happen, but he still did nothing. Frisk—but it wasn’t Frisk, was it? She would never hurt Papyrus._ **Damn it Sans, I…**

_He wouldn’t forgive her. Not-Frisk would pay. Pay for replacing the sweet young girl he had gotten to know, pay for betraying Toriel’s trust and breaking her heart, pay for being a DiRtY BRoTHEr KiLLeR._ **Sans, stars damn it why are you fighting me? Do you want to keep reliving this? Is that it?**

_Sans slowly dragged himself to his feet, shoes sinking into the snow. Blue shimmered against the white powder around him, his left eyelight lit with fire. She wouldn’t get away with this. He reached out, brushing the snow from his brother’s scarf, the red fabric soft as he wrapped it around his neck. She would pay, but Sans wouldn’t—couldn’t do anything until she reached the castle. If he tried before that, she would just RESET from her last save. He had to act as a Boss Monster, not as a brother._

_Sans couldn’t bring himself to take a shortcut home. What was the point? He had all the time in the world, waiting. Tears blurred his sight as he choked on a sob. He stumbled into the house, not bothering to close the door behind him as he fumbled his way to Papyrus’s room. He fell into the babybones racecar bed that Gas…he had given Papryus all those years ago._ **I’m surprised you remember that still, honestly.** _How could he forget him? It hurt. It hurt so bad, his bones aching. He had lost them both._ **Not permanently Sans, not yet. Wake up, this isn’t your run.**

_“papyrus…” Sans sobbed quietly on his brother’s bed, clutching the scarf around his neck with all his might. He stayed there as long as he could, trying to feel the presence of his brother as days passed. Eventually, he could feel her reach the Hall. He had to go. Go to judge that DiRTY BROthEr KilLER in the Hall of Judgement._

_He walked the path of Waterfall, listening to the Echo Flowers that dotted the way. “ STANDING UNDER THE SKY, LOOKING AT THE WORLD ALL AROUND…THAT IS MY WISH.” His eyelights flickered as he stopped at the sound of the child’s voice. _ **Sans…**

_A sob tore itself out of his chest. “ pfft…*laughs*” _ **Sans… I… You…**

_“ …HEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LAUGH AT IT!” His little babybones brother… Sans dropped to his knees, wrapping his hands around the scarf again. How old had they been? It hadn’t been too long after the accident._

_“ sorry, it’s just funny. that’s my dream too.” He couldn’t stop crying, the sobs catching in his throat. His face was in his hands, phalanges scraping across his face with a sickening screech. Marrow and dust etched the scratches. _

_It wasn’t_

_It never_

_Was supposed to be like this._

“SANS!” Sans jerked, falling out of his stool. **Thank the stars…** His eyelights flickered on to see his brother. Tears pricked his sockets, but he blinked them away quickly. That’s right. This was another run. Papyrus was fine. Toriel was fine. _Frisk_ would be the one here this time.

Sans was fine. **Don’t lie to us both. Just… Don’t go back to sleep.** Sans stood up, yawning as he stretched. Papyrus stomped his foot, his lecture about his ‘Lazy-Bones’ behavior picking back up.

“SANS! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! GAH! HOW CAN YOU BE SO LAZY??? ACT YOUR AGE!” Papyrus planted his hands on his hipbones, leaning back. Sans smirked, stuffing his hands in his jacket, tapping the ketchup packets he could feel.

“i was born first, make no _bones_ about it, but do ya really gotta _rib_ me about my habits? i’m _patella_ -ing ya, just a _femur_ lectures and ya might really rattle my bones.” Papyrus threw his hands up in the air and screeched, before stomping off and yelling back for Sans to change his puzzles. Sans watched him go, smiling. That was his little bro…so cool.

He closed his sockets, sighing as he braced himself. However, that meant it was time. He couldn’t stall any longer. **We could wait for her to come to us. It doesn’t have to start this way.** That was a lie, and they both knew it. There were rules, rules he had to follow, scripts for him to speak, roles for him to play.

He watched the woods, taking in the heavy snow. It was snowy all the time, but on this day, a heavy fall covered the ground the night before. Every time. The door to the Ruins was closed, but the snow around it was disturbed, the imprint of the door opening clearly shown, and the small footprints leading away from the door in the pristine snow. Turning, he could see the faint form of Frisk—please be Frisk—walking briskly through the snowdrifts. If it wasn’t Frisk _again_ , Sans might just…crack.

His slipped slid through the snow with soft swishes, and he stopped at the branch in the path. If it wasn’t Frisk again… He smashed it. Frisk— **She turned around Sans. It’s likely her** —spun around to look at the noise. He wasn’t there, watching from the trees. He knew that Frisk turning wasn’t the hard rule for it being her. He had been wrong before. When she continued on, he slipped behind her, silently trudging through the snow. And as always, he stopped her on the bridge.

“h u m a n .” Frisk froze up, shoulders locking tight. “don’t ya know how to greet a new pal? turn around and shake my hand.” This was the test. This was the moment that proved who he was talking to. Was it Frisk? He didn’t think he could take it if it wasn’t Frisk. He couldn’t take another Genocide run. He was at his limit. Sans held himself back from flinching at the memories of events that had never happened, both good and bad. He never could pick which one hurt more: the horrible runs, seeing his friends and family die, or the great ones, the ones where he saw the sun and knew it wouldn’t last. Frisk turned around and hesitantly reached out to take his hand—and broke into giggles as the whoopee cushion let out its call. A huge grin stretched across Sans’s skeletal face as she laughed.

It was her.

It was a good run.

It was going to be alright.

**This time.**

Sans tightened his grip ever so slightly, smile tensing as he laughed. No, this would be the last run. No more RESETs. He would figure it out this time, how to stop it from happening, how to keep their happy ending. He wouldn’t lose anyone this time.

**Not even her?**

Sans looked down at the sparkling brown eyes of Frisk—not the red, not like those of the Imposter—and his grin became more genuine. No, not even her. Not this time.

This time, Sans would make it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was so much better than the original--trust me, don't go looking. This oneshot was originally based on the image "Yeah! Still" by Nhaigen on Tumblr, and "(You hear a passing conversation)" by Wezryl on Tumblr. Sadly, it appears neither of these Tumblrs still exist, but I include the credits just in case.


	2. Sleep was never the answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Hey this is a rewrite of some poorly done oneshots I made early on in my writing career. Don't go look at the old ones, trust me, they suck.  
> You All: *go and look at the old writing*  
> Me: What the fuck did I just tell you?

Her eyes were burning, the heat of Hotland drying them out even further. She was so tired, but Frisk didn’t dare close her eyes for too long. When she let sleep take her, she would dream. Dream of things that had never happened—or, at least things that Frisk desperately wanted to believe had never happened. She feared what she could see in her dreams, the lingering memories, the feelings that wracked her. So she avoided it, ignoring how hard it was for her move, to think, the longer she went without sleep.

Until the barrier was broken, until she had brought all the monsters to the Surface, until she had atoned for all the suffering she had caused, until she had fixed what she had broken so many times, Frisk would not sleep. **If it never happened, what is there to atone for? You disgust me, you pathetic fool. Stop lying to yourself.** Frisk knew she was right, that those dreams were as real as the heat that pressed around her at that very moment, but she continued to push that knowledge down. She was as much hiding from that knowledge as she was from her dreams.

When she knew for certain none of it would go away…that the happy ending she fought for would never be RESET—RESET like all the times she had died—then, only then, would Frisk let herself rest. It would be sleep this time though; her choice for a true, more permanent rest had resulted in everything starting over. **Feh, I still can’t believe you did that. Aren’t you supposed to be a DETERMINED soul?**

Frisk stopped, wilting as she rubbed her shoulder. She was just… so tired. Tired of everything. She had thought that if she wasn’t there, then perhaps… It had been a stupid idea, she knew that now. **Aw, you didn’t think it was nice?** No, it wasn’t nice. It was horrifying—she had woken up choking on screams in Toriel’s home. And after Frisk had met Sans, met Papyrus… she had thrown up the moment she was alone. **Oh, does it upset you? That you’re a filthy _murderer?_ How does it feel to have dust on your hands? **

Frisk opened her eyes, shaking her head quickly as if to shake the thoughts ~~voice~~ from her mind. She didn’t want to think about it too much. Thinking about it got her remembering, and remembering only made her sick. **Then, shall we r e m e m b e r ?**

_She didn’t want this. She never wanted this. She had just_

_Just_

_Why couldn’t she stop her body?_

_She watched, a passenger in her own skin, as she brought her knife down on the gentle giant before her. Papyrus didn’t even try to hurt her, and here she was tearing him apart. She wanted to cry, but her eyes were only windows._ **Don’t lie. You liked it. I LOVED IT.** _She struggled to gain control of her limbs, only getting the barest twitch of her fingers around the blade. Her arm swung again, and Papyrus fell. Just like how Toriel fell before him, with trusting eyes and outstretched arms._

_Please_

_She didn’t_

_Want_

_this_

_He stood back up, his grin sad as he sent another half-hearted attack at her._ **It was like he thought you’d stop. How fucking pathetic.** _The blade dropped again, scraping Papyrus’s bones with a sickening sound. He stood still, snow swirling around him violently as his skull began to slide off his spine. Dust began to float off his body as his skull hit the snow with a dull thump._

_His eyelights flickered lightly as he looked up at Frisk with soft acceptance. She sobbed, curling up in her mind as her body laughed. Why hadn’t he fought back? “I KNOW YOU CAN CHANGE, HUMAN.” Manic giggles spilled from her mouth as she brought the knife down on his skull, puncturing the top with a dull sound. She almost couldn’t hear it over the sound of the wind and snow. She kicked the scarf out of her way as she continued further into Snowdin, her laughter echoing in the white._

_She swiped the dust from her clothes, laughing as Frisk cried inside her own mind. “Isn’t it wonderful? Once the UnderGround is empty, we’ll meet up with Flowey and head on up. We’ll finish what we started here! Don’t you just love it?” Manic laughter poured from her mouth, catching on the Echo Flowers until the sound was inescapable._

**_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_ **

**_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_ **

**_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_ **

_Frisk retreated further into her mind, screaming at the faces that brushed her. Shyren, Aaron, Dogamy, Dogaressa, Undyne, Nabstablook, Lesser Dog, Greater Dog, Woshua, Muffet, Monster Kid… They all blended together in a horrifying mess of screaming and dust._

_Make it stop_

_Make it stop_

_Make it stop please make it_

_stop_

**Aw, but it never will! Every time, it will be just like this. The exact same, no matter what. Isn’t that WONDERFUL?**

_It seemed like only moments later that Frisk was standing before Sans. Oh god, Sans._

_He had Papyrus’s scarf wrapped around his neck, his sockets empty. Scratches and cracks radiated out from those empty pits as he stood in her way. Frisk could feel her heart breaking at the cold expression on his face, the downturn of his permanent smile._

_This wasn’t her._

_Sans, please._

**Fuck, all you do is whine. You’re pathetic.**

_She wanted to scream her denials, but Frisk was only an observer. She had no control over her voice, her body, her actions. All she could do was watch as her body fought the short skeleton. A skeleton she couldn’t bear to hurt._

_Stop_

_Please_

_Stop_

_Don’t_

_make me_

_Hurt_

_him_

_“You dirty little brother killer.” No, please_

_Sans_

_It wasn’t her_

_She didn’t do this_

_She didn’t want this!_

**If you didn’t want this, how come I was able to gain control so easily, huh? You’re such a fucking coward, I swear. OWN THIS SHIT.**

_Sans began moving faster and faster, and Frisk could feel her body start to lag. She was running out of energy. Frisk had never been so grateful to be exhausted, to falter._

**Ugh, this is my least favorite part. Can’t I skip it?**

_Finally, Sans struck out faster than Frisk’s body could move. Scorching pain flared across Frisk’s mind as her skin melted in places. She could hear her own voice screaming from the agony._

_It hurt less than her heart did._

_Frisk’s body pulled her up, the knife firmly clenched in her hand. Another attempt to slice the short skeleton, which he easily dodged. Frisk was screaming_

_Relief_

_Regret_

_Guilt_

_Pain_

_Sans’s eye socket glowed a brilliant blue, and Frisk felt her movements slow. He held his arm out, a cruel smirk growing on his bones. She was flung off her feet, slammed down into the ground, against the pillars of the room, up into the ceiling._

_It hurt_

_So bad_

_Frisk could feel her body breaking as her heart did, turning blue. One last impact broke her back, leaving her body to scream. Frisk could feel the grip they had on her body weaken, and she shoved her way to the front. Agony, but relief. She was her again._

_Too little_

_Too late_

_Tears burned her eyes. She could hear the soft shuffle of Sans’s slippers coming closer. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to beg his forgiveness. But she couldn’t form words. She was so tired, so drained. It was taking everything she had to remain in control, to fight the other back. She closed her eyes as Sans stood over her, not wanting to see him kill her._

_Soft touches. Frisk dragged her eyes back open. Sans was bent down over her broken, smoldering body, gathering her up in his arms. His eye lights were gentle, remorseful. The cruel grin was gone, replaced by a sad smile. “There you are.”_

_Tears fell faster._

_He knew._

_He knew it wasn’t her._

**But it was you. As much you as it was me.**

_Frisk raised her hand—her fingers were not meant to be at that angle—to his face, feeling the warm bone smooth under her broken nerves. She could barely muster the strength to do so, but she had to let him know. She had to let him know it wasn’t his fault. Her own weak smile burned her face as the world began to go black._

**Yeah yeah, boohoo. Your little boyfriend kills you, like the weakling you are.**

Frisk opened her eyes. Before her lay the Castle, imposing and immense, but Frisk felt no apprehension. This time was different. This time, she had done everything right. This time, Frisk was Frisk. This time, she could laugh at Sans’s puns. This time, she could play with Papyrus and laugh on their date. This time, she might have even flirted back with Grillby. This time, she definitely flirted with Sans. **You sicken me, you pathetic. Little. Freak.** This time, Sans might have flirted back.

She walked slowly across the bridge, into the hall. Golden light poured through the ornate glass windows, striped by the shadows cast from the pillars lining the edges of the hall. This time, Frisk wasn’t going to mess up. This time would be the last time. She stopped, heart jumping. He stood across from her, just down the hall. He was so small in the vast space of the hall, but she could never have missed him.

She steeled herself as Sans turned, a gentle smile creasing his bones. He didn’t hate her. It meant more than she could ever express in words to him. So she would just have to show him. This time, everyone was going to get their Happy Ending.

She was filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original oneshot was based on [Sans and Frisk](https://www.deviantart.com/fighteramy/art/Undertale-Sans-and-Frisk-566328365) by Fighteramy on DeviantArt, and [UNDERTALE VS UNDERFELL](https://www.deviantart.com/the-noisemaker/art/UNDERTALE-VS-UNDERFELL-570928357)by The-Noisemaker on DeviantArt. Old art now, but still good stuff.
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading. Only one more oneshot from the originals left, but I might continue this as a drabble series for fun. We'll see.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Below are my media links, if you want them.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LynxOnSmoothies)   
>  [DeviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/lynxonsmoothies)   
>  [Tumblr](https://lynxonsmoothies.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/lynxonsmoothies)


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